1. |
Bedside Table - demo
03:01
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bedside table:
i think you would have been proud of me today
i think you would have thought i was brave
and you’d say
thats my girl she’ll go far
while you’re standing at the back of the bar
and i wanna show you all the things you missed
i wanna know how much if it you wished
you’d say
oh i remember them
i’m glad you’re back in touch again
and i wanna make you all the meals i can cook now
want you to tell me what they need
wanna show you all the people that stuck around
and tell you about the ones you never got to meet
i want you to know there’s things you would have liked to see
and how i wish you could have stuck around to read
the book unfinished on your bedside table
your bedside table
i hope you’re happy wherever you are
i hope you look down from whatever star
and i hope you can hear me when i say
you would have been proud of me today
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2. |
Object Permanence- demo
03:16
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object permanence:
up up, down down, round & round, pull myself together again
honey i think this time i need more than a friend
i need someone to hold me together through the day
and sew me up down down my chest when things don’t go my way
but thats not a job i can give anyone
and im sorry to those i’ve tried to make become that
i only feel good when i cry
but thats probably a lie
cos theres notes in my phone about warmth & happiness
so maybe i just have no object permanence
but when i’m down here i miss that feeling so much
its something i can see but never ever touch
it just sits up there and mocks me from the sky
maybe i could find it if i got a little high
but i’ll just sit here in a puddle of sweat
i’ll sit
and pretend i’m not thinking about it
dust dust, mould mould, sad holes hidden deep under my bed
i meant to clean it this week but i haven’t left my head
i wish someone could come and clear all my shit out
but i’ll feel weird and uncomfy if i haven’t done it myself
so i’ll just pull myself together!
and then crumble under the weight of self made pressure.
i only feel good when i cry
but thats probably a lie
becus theres notes in my phone about warmth & happiness
so maybe i just have no object permanence
but when i’m down here I miss that feeling so much
its something i can see but never ever touch
it just sits up there and mocks me from the sky
maybe i could find it if i got a little high
but i’ll just sit here in a puddle of sweat
i’ll sit
and pretend i’m not thinking about it
up up down down round & round pull myself together again
honey I don’t know how this’ll ever fucking end
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3. |
Wantable - demo
02:03
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wantable:
I realised the other day I just want to be wantable
And half the time im convinced that that’s improbable
Do you look at my lips when im not looking
Cos I don’t think I’ve ever caught you staring
Even though im always looking at you
Do you even think about me too
And I want you to want me when the sun goes down
But you don’t even want me when im around
I cried over you for 3 days straight
Its embarrassing
And you’re never gonna know
And you’re never gonna ask me on a date
But I also realised the other day its maybe mostly that I like your face
And I’ve never laughed with you as much as I do with my best friends
My jokes just sit in the air and take a while to condense
So please
Just fucking kiss me
I wanna know if I ever wanted you really
And I want you to want me when the sun goes down
But you don’t even want me when im around
I cried over you for 3 days straight
Its embarrassing
And you’re never gonna know
And you’re never gonna ask me on a date
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4. |
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5. |
Not On Fire - demo
03:27
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not on fire:
im not on fire
she says she feels like she’s burning too
and i love her through and through
so take your brain and lie it next to mine
i know you feel insane but so do i
and i know you’re trying
so i’ll be kinder to myself
cause i dont think
we’re gonna burn in hell
if we walk different paths some day
the anchored feeling
will remain
cause you deserve to be known that way
so take your brain and lie it next to mine
i know you feel insane but so do i
and i know you’re trying
so i’ll be kinder to myself
cause i dont think
we’re gonna burn in hell
i know you’re scared
i know you cant escape it
but i swear you’ll make it
out the cave some day
and i’ll love you either way
so take your shame and lie it next to mine
let it lose its weight in the clarity of light
oh let it rest
it doesn’t need to hurt you
know you’re trying your best
and its all you can do
so listen to me
im being honest
we’re not on fire
i promise
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6. |
Feel Less Alone - demo
02:26
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feel less alone:
I think a part of me latched onto you years ago
Cos when you hold me I feel safer
Than anyone could ever know
Looking in your eyes feels like home
You make me feel like I don’t need to be alone
I don’t wanna believe in the love of a god
When I can believe in you choosing to love me
And
I don’t wanna believe in a higher power
When I can believe in you letting me take the first shower
And leaning on me like I feel like home
I don’t wanna need a god to feel less alone
You’ve watched me piss myself like 50 times and you still respect me
And that makes me feel more worthy of love than forgiveness from a deity
You walk me to my bus stop even though its cold and dark
And you hold me close when you can tell that im not feeling a part of the world
So
I don’t wanna believe in the love of a god
When I can believe in you choosing to love me
And
I don’t wanna believe in a higher power
When I can believe in you letting me take the first shower
And leaning on me like I feel like home
I don’t wanna need a god to feel less alone
*KAZOO SOLO*
I don’t wanna need a god to feel less alone
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Eleanor McGregor Nottingham, UK
I'm Eleanor - I've been playing gigs around Nottingham for the last couple of years and am working on my debut album which should be out by the end of 2023! For now you can get my demo ep :)
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